My father believed that each event in your life taught you lessons you needed to learn. Often he would end a “talking to” session after one of my many mishaps with the words, “What did you learn from this experience?” It is no wonder, then that I find myself embracing the experiential learning model as an equine-inspired creativity coach and educator.
Dad generously shared what he’d learned from his own struggles. Looking back, I’m surprised at how many times these charming little phrases helped me stay on course and chart my journey through life.
I’d like to share with you some of what people may call “aphorisms” but what I prefer to think of as Dad’s Life Lessons.
Lesson #1: “Know your ‘stuff’ and be on time”
Lesson #2: “Nobody counts you out but yourself”
Imagine not getting steady work until the age of 50. That was the age my father was when he was hired to play Jed Clampett in the Beverly Hillbillies. Before that came along, there was a long list of random jobs—highlighted by three Davy Crocket films—that make up the life of a performing arts gypsy. What kind of belief in yourself and your abilities must it take to keep passionate about your career after over 25 years of setbacks and near misses? Dad’s optimism and vision of better things to come, for himself and for his family, was boundless.
Lesson #3: “Every day is a new ball game”
As a young actress, it often seemed that all of life was like one long audition and it was hard dealing with the inevitable rejections that came my way. Dad used to tell me that when we enter a roomful of new faces, people will tend to agree with whatever we bring through the door and we get to decide what that will be. He went on to say that when we experience failure or have a setback, it is just an opportunity to succeed another day. Seize that opportunity when it comes, he told us, and when you get chance at the ball run with it for all you are worth!
Lesson #3: “Never turn your back on enthusiasm”
This was one of Dad’s favorites. It could relate to show business but it also applies to life in general. There will be “nay-sayers”—people you won’t be able to please no matter what you do or say (nowadays we call them “haters”), so don’t squander your energy trying. Then there will be the people who “get” you—who give their love and support from the moment they meet you. Don’t let the darkness of some make you bitter or afraid to accept the lightness that others have to offer.
Lesson #4: “Never stop learning—it will keep you young”
Although he never finished college, there wasn’t a time when my father did not have a stack of books and writing pads by his chair and bed. He believed that each time a person took on a new learning project she got to re-connect with the excitement of mastering a new challenge. You don’t need to pursue a lot of academic degrees to be a lifelong scholar. When you have an interest in something, just learn all there is to know about it. You will keep your mind vibrant and enrich the time you spend on earth.
Lesson #5: “Find your passion and pursue it with a passion”
It can be for art, mathematics, sports, music, reading, gardening, animals, sailing, history or even a relationship—it doesn’t matter. Not one of us will get out of this life alive, so make your time here count. Don’t just settle for living in quiet desperation. Figure out what does it for you, give it one hundred percent of your energy and enthusiasm, and you will begin to know what it feels like to live an extraordinary life.
Lastly, is a quote that will forever remind me of my father’s philosophy:
“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch, which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” —George Bernard Shaw, playwright